Does this sound like an oxymoron to you!? According to popular perception, toys are for solo play, but sex is about two people satisfying each other's wants with their bodies alone. When I talk about sex, sex toys, and relationships, I am talking of all genders!. That said, sex toys are becoming a mainstream buzz amongst millennials. Introducing sex toys in partnered sex may provide everyone involved with a whole new level of enjoyment. According to surveys many people have been able to have more regular and frequent — or complex and intense — euphoric experiences as a result of these exceptional sensations. Couples may keep their sex diverse and more exciting by making use of the wide range of equipment and toys available. A common misconception is that using a sex toy means your partner ain’t good enough. Sexual health experts have stated tons of benefits of it; studies have shown, menopausal symptoms can be alleviated with the use of sex toys, when there is a lack of sexual pleasure, poor libido, or an inability to enjoy orgasm, vibrators can provide numerous sorts of sexual stimulation, using specialized sex toys can assist with a variety of sexual issues in males, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, a lack of desire, and post-surgical complications as well. Using sex toys can increase sexual pleasure and orgasm can help you sleep better, improve your immunity, relieve discomfort, decrease stress, and increase your cognitive capacity, say the experts. Dr. Van Kirk, a sex therapist argues that toys may enhance people's sexual pleasure and relationships with one's own and partners' inclinations and boundaries. “If a feeling of openness and non-judgment can be fostered, most individuals can learn to absorb new features into their repertory rather than being resistive. Speaking about resistance may help to debunk preconceptions regarding the usage of sex toys by your partner. And there's always some education. For example, the lack of penile/vaginal orgasm in most women alone." If your partner is not receptive to the discussion or concept, don't impose it on them with persistence or coercion. Instead, try to speak about the notion that makes them uncomfortable, then finding ways to discuss any anxieties or stigmas they may have about toys or sex, and if later on they may not desire a sex toy, and that's alright, too. Even in the 21st-century sex toys are seen as obscenity and so is sex; in India, there are a handful of websites and shady stores for sex toys. This year itself India got its first-ever legal sex toy store opened "Kama Gizmos" in Goa's Calangute stretch and that too got closed within two months of its opening, the panchayat of the village ordered for to get closed, and as the sarpanch mentioned it was because the store didn't have mandatory permits and therefore deemed legal. Whereas in some middle eastern countries the government has clearly stated a ban on them.
"The more whole we are as sexual beings the more fulfilled we are as human beings"
Women, it's high time to own your sexuality! Something we've been taught is that our sexuality is about someone else when it's about ourselves. And the other thing we have been taught is shame, sexual shame.The shame to want pleasure and orgasm! This has reflected in numerous different ways; in families over teen dating and teen sexuality, the awkwardness in the family when a sex scene comes up on television, queer people getting harassed, the way girls gets shamed about their sexuality, slut shaming, the assumption that teenagers are the only ones who needs sex education and ironically never actually get it. The truth is adults need it too. Stop being ashamed of feeling sexy and owning yourself. What if we were taught to claim our sexual assertion, and make our own sexual choice; we wouldn't grow into adults who are broken and don't know what they want sexually or how to ask for what they want. Alexandra H. Solomon says "Women are taught to be sexually appealing but not demanding, to be sexually available but not too hungry, to bring our partners to orgasm but to fake our own pleasure for their benefit and protection. Many of us cannot name our sexual anatomy or describe what those parts long for” in her book 'Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want'. In a world where sexual delight comes down to the pleasure of the penis it seems tough for people to wrap their heads around the fact that most women cannot orgasm by penetration alone, regardless of how aroused they are, and evidenced by studies shows this is where vibrators have played a major role by making women aware of their body. Sex toys have helped women envision their sexuality in new ways. Emerging statistics demonstrated that queer people have developed sex toys more often as subversive, entertaining, and shame-free than cisgenders. One of the finest aspects of sex toys is that they are accessible to people of all genders.
So, let yourself out; No matter what sort of sex you have or want, the exquisite present you can give yourself is to understand, enfold, embrace and take charge of your sexuality, explore it in whatever you want; just remember to stay safe!
-Dhanushya