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  • Writer's pictureThe Feminist Times

Not Being a Feminist

Why do I even have to be a feminist? Doesn’t it sounds so irrelevant in the world, that I have to repeat myself every single time just to make it clear that we all are just humans and we are equal.


Could I be stressing this more!

Yes, please stop misinterpreting me, abolishing patriarchy is all I wanted but on the other hand I never said that matriarchy needs to be established. Domination in any way is not right, what is right-is an egalitarian society. No gender is superior and no gender is inferior.

Quoting Simon De Beauvoir “one is not born a woman but becomes one”. Similarly, I wasn’t either born a feminist; all the encounters of patriarchy in almost every aspect of my life made me one. Dear men don’t you feel this patriarchy is affecting you ‘ toxic masculinity’, we all thinks that this is just about woman and ignores the fact that even men are being attacked by patriarchy. Doesn’t the society has its own image of men that he has to be strong, bold, emotionless, can never cry and what wrong has does the color pink done that we keep connecting it to weak feminism. Have we ever noticed why there are so many male farmer suicide, because he can’t handle the failure as they have to take care of the whole family since they are the head of the family, men can’t show they are weak, there are a tons of examples like this where toxic masculinity have cost our men a lot.

Since the ancient times women have fought for even basic things while the men have got all that served in a platter. The right to education, vote and many more do I even need to mention sati practice and all! We have come so far yet a long way to go.

Somewhere in back of my mind my self is still waiting for the day when I can say we do not feminism any more. When our parents can stop worrying for the security of their daughter and doesn’t have to save for their marriage while the sons of the family have no such boundations. When the women doesn’t have to stand up to all the beauty standards the society has set up, quoting Nivedita Menon’s Seeing like a feminist “ the whole point of nude make up is to spend hours painting your face in order to make it a natural glow and look like you haven’t touched it”, subconsciously this has been deteriorating us. When someone who is sexually assaulted doesn’t have to be victim shamed, when a girl is groped she doesn’t have to shut up ,When a girl’s driving isn’t mocked, when our teachers will stop slut shamming because of the boys in the class, when a men doesn’t have to wait till to become a father to understand women in the society, there is saying which says if you have to judge a man never see how he treats his daughter ( because obviously he will have a soft corner for them) see how he treats his partner/ wife. There are a lot of cases where men tend to not give their wives equal place on the other hand develops their daughter and give her all the opportunity he could but isn’t is ambiguously wrong all the women in the society needs to be treated equally. There are so many arenas in a life of women where she faces patriarchy that we can lose the count.

When all these toxic masculinity and patriarchy will end so will the motive of all the schools of feminism. We will be happy to rest our case .

- R.Dhanushya

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