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  • Writer's pictureThe Feminist Times

Discovering Matchmaking: Marriage Woes at the early’20s

Indian parents and their fixation with weddings comes at a cost, so huge that it could cost them a fortune. Every time a newborn girl cries her folks seem to calculate the years it would take them to spare a whopping sum for a much much grander wedding.

Yet, without a wrinkle on their temple, they flourishingly go to lengths speaking of their hard work and determination to get everything right from food to the not dowry (but just gifts and souvenirs to the in-laws). With much talks and awareness venturing from Tv shows and education, Indian families seem to change their view of marriages now. It's often the early 20’s when the parents seem to pull up their socks in order to find a prospective bridegroom for their daughter. While it’s never a choice to get hitched or not, as Indian parents seem to have a way with emotional blackmailing. Elizabeth Bumiller in her book ”May you be the mother of a hundred sons” talks about how it's unfair to do arranged marriage setups and calling them the perfect way to unite two families together. She examined women as she was on a quest to find out why India has a much lower divorce rate than America.

On her long Interviews with women of different background, she found out that a major chunk of families prefer arranged set-ups wherein the parents see everything as per their requirement. More often than not girls are taught that love marriage is a fantasy marriage it never turns out the way you want it to be. Evidently, the divorce rate in India stands low because at times it’s the tag of ”what would the society think?” that makes most women stay in a marriage which is toxic. Thanks to Indian matchmaking show which has demonstrated us the truth of matchmaking, sacrificial qualities are taught to girls from the very beginning. "More often than not girls are taught that love marriage is a fantasy marriage it never turns out the way you want it to be."

From our profession to preferences everything changes, the moment we step into a new home because apparently altering ourselves is the sole choice. The conventional system instructs us to perform within its region but its time that Matchmaking process changes, parents become more aware and sensitive to their daughters choice. People who are burdened with Orthodoxical views and sheer patriarchy who are living in the world of obvious numbness, which women activists are revolting against. It's a matter of understanding which is desired at every stage. 21st-century women anticipate understanding rather the idea of contemplating them as fragile beings. From equal pay to a safe working environment and a progressive partner is what we wish for.

Women liberation isn’t a salvage for us to accomplish something incorrectly and get the umbrella safe house. We are fighting the cause of hyper and toxic masculinity which imposes its ideals upon us. The definition of Feminism on Google is the thing that we seek to find in reality and not simply on a site page.

- Harleen Kaur Khanuja

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